my whole world eroding beneath my feet while I wait patiently,
already knowing the outcome, unwilling to accept,
in between, for me all is clear, but I’m not ready yet,
you draw away saying you want me close,
how can your words be weighted?
when something inexpressible needs to be expressed,
and you already chose
will your memories of me fade,
will you miss,
will you change your mind,
if not, then what was all this and what will persist,
dragging me through the depths of human hell,
no Virgil to guide me,
no one,
bitterness and darkness,
pain.
I cannot cry for help I cannot reach out,
lost.
Drowning.
is it all my fault?
do you really love like this?
just one more kiss,
waking up next to you,
smelling and tasting what once was true…
hope persists,
hope is evil,
like love is.
Please don’t go.
at least let me know.
Do I even still want you?
Stop juggling my heart
I fall apart.
But the pain it fades when you just long enough torture me,
and even though I’m not yet free
I’m slowly going back to the state that once was me,
it’s a me that excludes a you,
maybe the only me which is true,
which keeps pushing forward and won’t ever stop,
to find another you.